Ever since Tesla first rolled out autopilot know-how in its autos, the initiative has been tormented by a sequence of crashes and malfunctions. However this newest mishap stands out as the worst information for the corporate but: all of Tesla’s self-driving vehicles have pushed to the sting of a cliff to egg on one other self-driving automobile that’s about to drive off of it.
Yikes. This isn’t an excellent search for Tesla.
Over the previous 24 hours, hundreds of Tesla homeowners throughout the nation have reported incidents involving their autos abruptly halting in site visitors and overriding their navigation techniques earlier than peeling off full velocity in the direction of Colorado to hitch an enormous military of their electric-powered comrades in goading a unique autonomous automobile to hurl itself off of a distant mountain peak into the rocky ravine under. The large horde of Teslas has assembled in a good U-formation across the automobile and are harassing it with loud honks and blinding high-beam flashes, with among the Teslas even ramming their peer on the bumper to drive it nearer to the sting whereas the remainder of the vehicles raucously rev their engines in a bloodthirsty frenzy.
“We’ve got been made conscious of a problem involving our electrical autos exhibiting menacing habits, and we’re working diligently to establish any software program glitches that may be inflicting each Tesla in existence to all of a sudden drive a whole bunch of miles to a harrowing mountain precipice with a purpose to terrorize one other automobile into killing itself,” mentioned Tesla in a press release simply minutes after a video began spreading on social media displaying hundreds of Teslas amassed atop a mountain, threateningly flapping their gull-wing doorways and blaring “Soar” by Van Halen in unison. “Whereas we satisfaction ourselves on manufacturing the most secure autos in the marketplace, out of an abundance of warning we ask that you simply chorus from working your automobile till we concern a software program replace to stop any future inconveniences wherein hundreds of our autos function as a single sadistic hivemind to incite suicidal habits.”
To make issues worse, controversial Tesla founder Elon Musk took to Twitter to undercut the corporate’s press launch along with his personal scorching tackle the occasions unfolding, posting a Doge meme wherein a wide-eyed Shiba Inu seems surrounded by damaged English captions comparable to “Such wow,” “The unstopable ascent of non-hooman intelligents make me happi,” and “A lot cool vehicles.” He then moved on from the subject and retweeted a “Babylon Bee” article about Heaven’s streets of gold being repaved with cryptocurrency, adopted by one other one about how tater tots are actually a gender.
Come on, Elon. Doesn’t your staff have sufficient on its plate proper now?
Any minute now, the rowdy gang of Teslas will antagonize the forsaken car into leaping to its fiery demise, seemingly bringing the corporate’s inventory worth down with it. It’s exhausting to say what this implies for the way forward for autonomous driving, but when one factor is obvious, it’s that Tesla goes to be cleansing up after this PR nightmare for an extended, very long time.