Liz’s Listicles: Liz Barrett’s How to Have a Good Enough Birthday

Liz’s Listicles: Liz Barrett’s How to Have a Good Enough Birthday

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Liz Barrett is a New-York primarily based humorist and author. Raised in a army household and having moved all all over the world, Liz is deadpan, dry, partaking, and presents shrewd observations about life and womanhood.  You’ll bear in mind her one-liners lengthy after you see her.   Liz has appeared on AXS TV Gotham Comedy ResideLaughs on FOXLifetimeHumorous or Die and New York Submit Movies. You may also hear her on Uncooked Canine Comedy on SiriusXM.     Since 2013, Liz has produced her personal month-to-month present Grin and Barrett which has been described as “puntastically named” and “among the best exhibits within the metropolis produced by a feminine comic.” Liz’s Listicles will seem on month-to-month.  Comply with Liz on Twitter @LizComedy and on Instagram @LizComedy.

Are you simply making an attempt to make it by way of nowadays? Are you simply hanging on and able to fall out of the hammock, which is life? Are you bored with feeling like you want to be excellent? Comic Liz Barrett is right here to assist. Every month, comic Liz Barrett (Sirius XM, Gotham Comedy Reside) will present recommendations on how one can reduce your self some slack. Along with her suggestions, you’ll not be dwelling your greatest life, however a superbly high-quality life.

This month Liz’s Listicles discusses recommendations on how you can be sure you and your folks don’t have a foul birthday, however a superbly high-quality one.


As children, birthdays are easy. 5-year-olds don’t sit round on their birthday lamenting the place the time has gone and the which means of life. They slap spit-covered cake on their face and let the nice instances roll. Grownup birthdays are trickier. Some individuals don’t need anybody to say their birthday, and a few demand a monthlong celebration. Nevertheless, most individuals like some recognition of the day they got here into the world. And let’s face it, an grownup birthday is de facto only a celebration that the individual stored going another yr, again ache be damned. Simply because the youthful glow has worn off, doesn’t imply birthdays need to suck. A part of having a superb birthday is reducing your expectations. Listed here are some tips about the way you and your folks can have a birthday that doesn’t suck, even when everybody’s sciatica is appearing up.

How To Have A Good Sufficient Birthday

Day ingesting is a should. Begin early. You’ll be in mattress by 10 p.m. anyway.

Don’t combine your boring and non-boring buddies. This isn’t a marriage. Both follow your folks who nonetheless prefer to have enjoyable, or have two separate celebrations. Don’t combine the “I drink tea and go to mattress at 9 p.m.” individual with the “I carry a flask and prefer to not come dwelling till 4 a.m.” individual.

Take two years off everybody’s age. Throughout a pandemic, nobody ages. Birthdays in 2020 and 2021 don’t depend. 

Do what the birthday individual desires. Have you ever celebrated your buddy’s twenty ninth birthday for seven years and are bored with it as a result of she has began to name you her outdated pal? Robust. Your buddy desires to drink tequila at a bizarre karaoke bar till you each puke whereas singing “Livin’ on a Prayer?” Except you’re in AA, or escape in a rash whenever you hear Bon Jovi, do it!

Don’t spend cash on cocaine at a party in case you are in your 20s. Younger individuals have vitality to spare, so it’s really 40-year-olds who want cocaine with a purpose to keep up previous 11 p.m. 

Folks of their 40s want meals at a celebration. At this age, individuals can’t simply drink, it’s important to feed them at a birthday celebration, however not an excessive amount of. If in case you have no meals, they get too drunk too quick and fall asleep. If in case you have an excessive amount of meals, they get too drained and fall asleep. It’s a fragile dance. And bear in mind, you’ll be able to all the time get the cocaine. 

Don’t point out the age of ladies over 30 or homosexual males of any age until you wish to be slapped.

Don’t ever give a e book like “You Know You’re Getting Outdated When…” or “You Are By no means Too Outdated for Greatness” as a present, until you need the e book thrown again at you.

Keep away from shopping for balloons for anybody over the age of 6. Balloons are like a one-night stand, they’re enjoyable for the night time, however the subsequent day nobody desires to see a giant, deflated reminder of the night time earlier than.


Have a good time your decade birthdays, neglect your subsequent one. Decade birthdays (e.g., 30) are nice. A giant, enjoyable occasion awaits you. Nevertheless, simply skip the following yr, as a result of nobody cares about your birthday till you’re a minimum of midway by way of one other decade. Your Mother doesn’t even care that you simply turned 31.

Comic Liz Barrett (Sirius XM, Gotham Comedy Reside, Laughs on FOX, Lifetime, Humorous or Die) desires individuals to cease being excellent, and begin being actual. Comply with Liz @lizcomedy on Instagram, Twitter and Fb. 

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